Not another love story.

Movie: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(Andie Anderson and Benjamin Barry)

We've heard echoes of fate's unforgettable stories of heroes and heroines in their quest to find that "one true love". They would usually be like one of those fairy tale characters: a naive & idealistic girl, and a perfect, night-in-shining-armor type of guy. But just when the perky little "How To" columnist journalist met the struggling ad exec and lifelong bachelor, falling in love meant breaking your own pact with the devil. Though it wasn't that realistic (like most feel-good movies are),the movie was a lot more different than the others. They both weren't giddy with the thought of discovering first love, but rather excited to screw everything up! And that, I believe, is what makes it a love story.

Most Filipinos, or even other conservative countries, would find their first meeting either unusual or unusual (if that's two different things). Always in search of that "perfect" column, and on the other hand, eager to get to pitch his advertising ideas, they sort of flirted with each other. Our cultural norms never agree to that. A quick hi-what's-your-name isn't enough to allow someone to hold you by the waist the next second. Now we may have this thought of considering the fact that they're Americans. The speaking distance they had can be associated with the culture their country has. It may sound stereotypical, but America's got way too different cultural norms with the Philippines. And I'm pretty sure everyone knows that.

Andie, by the time Ben asked him to go and have dinner somewhere else with him, agreed with no second thoughts. The physical appearance, personality, and communication style that Ben possessed made her make up her mind easily.Communicator characteristics, as mentioned in the concepts of EVT (under Expectancy) sure do affect communication results. And of course, what better target, than an avowed bachelor...like Benjamin.

But this won't be as easy as it seems because, aside from both of their hidden motives, they may not have similar structures of expected communication behavior. Violation valence still matters. The unexpected behaviors Ben showed Andie (or Andie showed Ben) could have been distressing to either of them. That could have been a reason for them to call things out! A flirty look could have been taken as a violation. Though stares are supposed to mean nothing but blank stares, different persons interpret things in diverse ways. Except, of course for some really obvious nonverbal behaviors. Most of the time we base our interpretations to its socially recognized meaning. Which, I think, was what both Andie did.

They would not have considered each other as targets if they don't think there is much of a benefit that they could get from each other. They have probably audited likely gains and losses that would possibly emerge during the 10 days they aim to spend with each other. Both could have not continued hanging out with each other if, at their first meeting, no interest can be sensed. We are undeniably easily turned off with uninteresting talks. But because the response was great,they may have foreseen a positive reward to follow in the future.

As Andie tried to alienate Ben and Ben doggedly tried to hang in there and make her his, they made a good example for the Expectancy violation theory. The well managed expectancies both characters had even led hearts to go pitter-pat and even to realize they really are crazy about each other.