Crossing borders

Commuting has never been a fun thing to do. I have to suffer chest pains and headaches everyday just to get to my current school which, unfortunately, is located in a not-so-far-away place from the city. The smog, heat, and unjustifiable fare I can take, but invasion of privacy? No. Good heavens, no. I have innumerable experiences of that. From an old man almost rubbing his eyes with mine, to a lady laughing with me as I read my text messages.

Judee Burgoon stated interesting facts and explanations of why I felt that way. In Burgoon’s Expectancy Violations theory, the term ‘expectancy’ was used in a different way than how we use it. Usually, we refer to “what is desired to happen” when using it. On the other hand, Burgoon reserves the term for “what is expected to happen”.

I wasn’t expecting passengers to stay 5 meters away from me or something. But an awkward eye to eye is way too much! It does not also mean that using my phone in a public vehicle would give them free privileges of reading my messages. My expectations were simply violated.

"Omg I don't know you! Get off me! ~x( "

The people I mentioned may have no idea of my personal space expectations. The fact that they are just total strangers, not my neighbors, friends, partners could be a reason why my expectations were violated. As individuals, we have different expectations, as well as interpretations, for every act. These have been created through our personal experiences, culture and, sex and gender differences. When
our expectations of other persons are violated, we will respond in specific ways.

We usually assign a value for every unexpected behavior, not minding the doer of the act. This, according to Burgoon, is called “violation valence”. It may be positive or negative. In order to meet expectations, do less or in a socially appropriate way when it is of negative valence, and exert more effort to go beyond to those of positive valence. Usually, if an act is unexpected and is interpreted and evaluated positively, it will produce more favorable outcomes than an act already expected interpreted and evaluated in the same way.

If the old man who stayed 5 inches from my nose were a long-time guy classmate, whom girls from the whole campus go crazy of, my reaction could have been different. I would probably think of the things that would possibly follow after that. Things in the future could be affected. On the positive side, we could end up in an intimate relationship, which could also make me famous! On the other hand, it may cause chaos between me and the desperate girls who crave for his attention.





"What can you do for me?"
"What can you do to me?"





The things I assigned to the person in front of me is called the “reward valence”. Depending on the reward valence is how you would interpret the violation and derive a meaning from it. This is when you must assign an interpretation as either positive or negative. This assessment of the behavior will influence the communication you engage or don't engage in, with this individual.

In order to know someone’s expectations, I believe one should experiment.