Social Suicide.

In more ways than one, I am suicidal. Over the Christmas break, I just sit around not doing anything; I consume half of Spuds's yearly produce; I strain my eyes watching crappy television, land on the couch and order everybody around; and uh, how will I say this one? Uhh, I got myself a textmate.

How cool and "in" can I get? I have a textmate! Oh well, that's actually awful. I'm not used to stuff like this but I just had to give it a try. It's not because I want one, but because I need one. And yes, I want to stress on that. Haha


Textmates may seem like total imbeciles but they are not useless; their unproductive-ness promises to bear fruits in the future. What they are doing (the click clicking) is merely preparation for something so revolutionary that talking about it will send shivers down your spine. I'm gonna befriend one - for a cause.

I sent a group message to everyone I think has someone to recommend (of course, I didn't tell them why). It was past 11 so I didn't think I would receive replies. But I guess my message left them wondering. They know me. I received an overwhelming number of vCards. All I had to do was pick from the most reliable senders. So I ended up beeping what someone referred to as "a friend."

"Hey(:"

I tried to be as casual as I can be. But I guess that's as stupid as it's gonna get. Good heavens! The number replied. Why did I even think no one is up by that hour? Texters are always up! Haha. And I was pushing myself to be one of them.

"Hey^^"
"Andree ryt?"
"Didee ryt?^^"

That's what most of the people I met oline call me. So I assumed he knew me! I wanted to drown myself. I need to blog about a textmate who doesn't know me!

"Hahaha you know me? Ayyyyy"
"Haha no. Cathy just told me."
"Oh great! Hehe hi then."

And so we started exchanging messages. To leave good impressions about me, I introduced my self as if I had glitters on my veins. *selective self presentation My hair wont stop raising, my entire body won't stop fidgeting, my lips can't relax from shivering and my freaking salivary glands stop secreting enough fluid to wash the vomit in my mouth! I can't come up with something to lessen the shame I got my self into! I'm not so sure if he really was impressed. But by the words he replied to me, I suppose he was. All I can do was rely on text-only messages. No nonverbal cues to get clues from.

"Ansaket ng legs kooooo :\"
"Oh why? Baka naman kasi you were running all day."
"Haha no. Me thanksgiving celebration kase kanina. My heels were killin my feet! Ugh."
"Hahahaha di ka siguro sanay no."
"Hehe I wear those always naman. Legs get tired too, yenno."
"Ay. I thought girls are used to wearing it na and never get tired."
"poor girls. We're human too noh!"
"Hehe oh I think a girl should be treated like queen."
"Wuu. Banat!"
"Hahahaha my mom used to tell me that."
"Nye. ang mushy haha"

I was suddenly acting as if I wasn't impressed. It was like saying "Tell me something I don't know" in a polite way. I sure think he was trying to create an image of a usual mom-is-my-idol type of guy. It was so amazing of him to still reply.

He . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .REPLIED!
Great! I was almost convinced my constant "Hahahahaha" has got to his nerves. It took him billions of seconds to reply on every message. That got me irritated. He said he was watching a certain koreanovela entitled, um, sheez that doesn't even matter. It was unbelievably eyeball-dropping that I wanted to send another mass message to get people's fingers up for me. Time really was something! As Walther said in his Social information Processing theory, time is the only nonverbal cue that is not filtered during a computer-mediated communication. I sure believe that if we were talking face-to-face he would be ashamed not to reply right away. It would most likely appear he had hearing problems.

The usual first question from strangers to start a talk would be "Do you have a boyfriend?" I was surprised it took him a few hours to finally ask.

"Hehe wala. Since sperm."
"Since sperm amp. Hahaha ako din e :p"
"We don't have to get more heartaches than happiness hahaha"
"Exactly! Pareho pala tayo no."
"Maybe. Lol Except kung iniisip mo din na guys are a bunch of liars Hahahaha"
"I'll think about it hahahaha"

We talked about lots of things. Just random topics. And we had things in common. Just like how we both think that men who wear pink are not necessarily "real men". Some just happen to love pink, like girls; There has been much expectation of Twilight so most people think the movie was a disaster; Love quotes make us sick. Because of that, he was saying things like I was also an "Andree". Or I was "just like his sister". I say, the informations were over-attributed. I just mentioned things that most people have a common opinion. So it doesn't necessarily mean "I'm like him, or his sister".

Ever since I beeped him we kept on exchanging compliments about each other. I mentioned I'm from UP. He mentioned he's taking BS IT.

"Ay batang UP. Matalino ka pala ah."
"Ikaw nga jan IT e."

We don't necessarily have to mean what we say. Just for the sake of being friendly.

He may have thought of saying something different about UP students. Like the stereotypical questions that I heard from others. On the other hand, I could have had thoughts of continuing my sarcasm and asked him why he took that kind of course, stuff like that. We have so much time to erase what we have typed and decide whether to do so or not. Unlike the possible brow-raising moments in face-to-face communication. He was, I think, careful in choosing his words because of the fact that I am a friend's friend. And he, the object of my almost-experiment.

We extended til early morning. by that, I mean 3 o'clock, i guess. I appreciated the time he allowed to go to waste talking with someone he doesn't even know personally. I could have been a gay looking for a boyfriend! *he's straight, btw. Maybe, you just know someone's reliable eventhough you can't see how he/she reacts.

Do not make the mistake of deprecating the abilities of a textmate because for all you know, that textmate could be the very cause of your extermination. They have the qualities that may put your whole existence in your university to oblivion. :))

I never realized how social suicide can be fun, too. (Hehehe)



P.S
I'm from Davao City, Mindanao(!)

People have neither been subtle nor kind in rubbing this to my face. If I had a cent every time someone tells me I am soooooooo far from where they are, I'd be able to pay the Philippine debt.

thanks cathy